and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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