Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
thus making me awesome and them whores
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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