sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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