as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
