I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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