my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
