oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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