I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
