shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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