I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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