i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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