2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I skipped work to stalk him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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