Whod you bang
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
