the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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