i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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