We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
