I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
