I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
