I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
