So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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