oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
