...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
