im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
