He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
