You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
