I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
