My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
