they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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