She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
