just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
porn star boner night. come get it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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