I'm really into asian looking animals
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Couch. On fire.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
