put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
