My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
