Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
