your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
