Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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