All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
