He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
