i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
