Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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