DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
