I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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