i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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