More tranny stories later!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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