Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
