Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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