They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
