I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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