playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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