Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
