so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
