good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
