Jerry, you need to find god
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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