I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Couch. On fire.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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