if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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