Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
