I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize