Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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