I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
