I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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