How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
