she woke up with a sticky ear
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
