I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
