I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
