If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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