Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So vagazzling was a success
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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