I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
