so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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