great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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