A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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