Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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